Tough Brotherhood

I would venture to guess that any coach, principal, parent or authority type figure would say that discipline is the worst part of a job. I can definitely see that they hate that part just as much as I do. While I see my role more as a big brother than as a parent, I still feel that having to come down on one of my brothers is the worst thing I've had to do.

We all have standards in our chapters, and there is nothing worse than having to discipline someone for not meeting those specific standards. Whether its not paying dues on time, academic performance or some disciplinary problem within the chapter, I honestly think that it hurts me more than it does them.

Recently, I've had to be the bearer of bad news to some officers in my chapter. Hearing the hurt and disappointment in their voices over losing an office makes me want to reconsider, but I can't. It hurts to know that you've had to deliver the bad news to someone that they aren't able to do what they wanted to. Yet, I can't help but remember that the brothers in question did this to themselves. Whether they didn't pay their dues because they went to the bar and blew the money; whether they bombed a final or a project which was the catalyst for poor grades; whether they took something too far, I have to be the one to bring them back to reality and enforce the laws of the Fraternity.

It's never easy to be the bad guy. It's never fun to share bad news. Yet I have to remind myself that my Fraternity did not get to where it is today by ignoring its own edicts. I know that it's probably rough, and I'm sure that there are some very hurt feelings, but in order to achieve excellence, you must instill discipline.

It is my hope that as Brothers, Chapter Advisers, National Leaders read my words, they remember that the most clear cut are always the most difficult. One day, when you are in my position, you may understand why things had to be done in the manner they were. I care about my Chapter, and my Fraternity. I hope that each and every brother succeeds in life, and can later on understand.

I'm reminded of the words of one of my predecessors "Live Ritual." That's all it takes.

Best of luck to any counterparts who may be feeling the same way or facing the same situations.

Fraternally-
Matt

TFM, Bad for Business?

The radical, and at times humorous website, TotalFratMove.com, takes the best and worst of Fraternity Life, and makes it into a lifestyle.



Watching Facebook, I see members from my chapter posting status updates directly from TFM. I'm guilty, I've done it too. Members of our Alumni Board have done it. Hell, some of this stuff is funny. It makes us all think back to our collegiate days and think of the things we did, and some of them would definitely have made it on there. This however, is not my point.

As Fraternity Men, and each organization bases themselves with different wording, but they all adhere to the same general principles. Scholarship, Service, Moral Behavior and Brotherhood. In browsing this website, I'm amazed at the lack of character and principle these "brothers" have. Talking about their "Slams", "God Damned Independents" (non Greek Students) and being drunk all the time. We all wonder where our stereotypes are drawn from, and lately, we've been doing it to ourselves. This website in some ways reminds me of Dean Wormer's quote in Animal House "Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life, son".

Bragging about promiscuity, drunkenness, and bashing Non-Greek students, is not the way to build community, garner respect or move forward as Greeks. We are not slobs, we are not stupid, nor are we pigs or social degenerates. We proclaim ourselves as men, as gentlemen, as scholars. Yet, we embrace a culture within the Greek Community that we are womanizers, party boys, drug users and generally careless people that will be handed everything we need in life.

It's time for Greek Men to focus on the values that our organizations stand for. That will make you a better man, and a better citizen. Live your Ritual. Live the life of a man of honor, not a "Frat Daddy".

-Matt

Introduction and Scope

Good Evening Folks.
If you haven't ascertained this yet, my name is Matt Griffin, and I'm a chapter adviser for a Fraternity at a state school in the Northeast portion of the country. I'm leaving this relatively anonymous, although anyone that knows me, knows part of what I'm talking about.

I was inspired to write this, in looking at some of the issues that we, as chapter advisers face in the Fraternal World. I'm by no means an expert at these things, but I do know that by sharing my thoughts, and some of my challenges, that we can learn and grow.

I encourage feedback and suggestions for posts. I;m shooting for a once a week post...maybe more, depends on the week.

With that being said, this weeks topic is one that's one the forefront of my mind, I'm taking on the movement of TFM.